A Therapist’s Thoughts on Burnout

These past 10 months have been a lot! About 10 months ago, I opened my private practice, saw a full caseload, and worked in three MBUSD schools. Needless to say, this was not sustainable. I kept telling myself it was temporary and would get better. 

It lasted until about February before I could start to feel the toll. I took random long weekends here and there, but never a full week. I kept telling myself I could make it until summer. As my schedule has slowed down over summer, I can see pretty clearly what happened and what I learned about burnout. Now, I categorize burnout into three phases. 

Phase 1 - maintenance mode or burnout prevention 

Phase 2 - the crash out 

Phase 3 - recovery mode 

Phase 1: 

From about March - May I considered myself to be in “maintenance mode” or “burnout prevention.” This basically included me trying my ultimate best to not overextend myself. As I look back on it now, this basically consisted of not responding to texts, cancelling plans, not cleaning the house, skipping yoga, and eating take out. Ultimately, slowly letting my strong habits slip.

I’ll give myself some credit, as I was walking more since we got a puppy (terrific timing by the way). I had a consistent sleep schedule. Continued with daily reading and found some time for fun and relaxation. 

During these three months, I saw a slow deterioration of my ability to be inconvenienced. The smallest thing felt overwhelming. I could keep my smiling warm demeanor at work, but in between sessions and at home, the irritability was bubbling. The joyful laughter with my partner turned into bickering, I dreaded long-weekend trips or social hangs with friends and family.

I could see my motivation and creativity for entrepreneurship drift away. I welcomed the “summer slump” of cancelled sessions. My mindset on business tasks became more about fear of getting behind (which would stress me out more), rather than an important part of the routine. Everything was filtering through the mindset of how can I do the bare minimum and still get by. 

Phase 2:

June finally came and the end of the school year was here. Now we enter the “crash out” phase. Feeling drained and depleted, I slept - I went to bed early, I snoozed my alarm, I napped. I resumed my yoga membership, cooked the simplest meals, and made an effort to do the things that brought me joy. 

The real turning point was taking time off from work. Going out of town allowed my brain to really disconnect from work and responsibilities. I left my computer at home, put my phone on DND, and resisted the urge to check social media. It took about a full seven days for me to start to notice the irritability decreasing and the bickering with my partner returned to joking and laughing. But slowly, the feelings changed, the mindset changed, the energy changed. 

Phase 3:

Now here we are, in July, and I am in “recovery mode.” During this go-around with feelings of burnout, this was the phase I learned most about. For a time, I felt like once I started to feel better, it was over - I did it, yay! However, now I see the role of recovery mode.

This is where I had to address everything I had put off - insurance, car maintenance, cleaning the house, and many other “adulting” responsibilities. As I started to tackle these tasks one by one, this is where I felt the most spaciousness in my mind. This is where the motivation and creativity began to re-emerge. 

Not only was it the one off task, but also rebuilding a consistent schedule of responsibilities, self-care, and joyful activities. We’re still building, but this is where I started to feel like myself again. 

Part of recovery mode is to keep taking it slow. Constantly reminding myself, don’t jump back into overscheduling myself, but use this spaciousness to re-align with my priorities. I finished reading my book, started daily journaling, and went on bike rides. Trying to enjoy the slower parts of summer. Now my goal as I head into the latter half of July is to get back into surfing.        

Whether you are a parent, a clinician, a teacher, or any other role that works with kids, the school year dictates a lot. As the kids take their well-deserved break from school, I hope you also are enjoying the slowness of summer. Getting yourself some good sleep, getting outside, and seeing loved ones.       

Yours In Service, 

Christina King, LMFT 145704