How To Keep your teen safe on Social Media
Giving your kid access to social media can be overwhelming. You are torn because you want your kid to be able to connect with their friends, but you also know there are significant risks. If you are looking for some guidelines on how to keep your kid safe on social media, you found the right place.
Here I’ll break down some considerations when letting your child access social media.
1) It's recommended (not always possible though), to wait until at least 13 or 14 years old for social media.
2) Say yes to one platform at a time.
Start by allowing your child to use the social media that best keeps them in contact with friends or staying socially relevant. Additionally, do a trial period. Let your kid know they can use it for a month and together you’ll revisit it. This trial period is a chance for teens to earn their trust and build some responsibility.
3) Do your own research on the social media app.
Common Sense Media and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) does a great job providing educational resources for parents. These resources provide parent guides to better help you understand the various applications used.
Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/parents-ultimate-guides/social-media
AAP:
4) Have your child “teach” you about the app.
Have them download it on your phone and show you the ropes. This can give you insight into how to monitor appropriate use, how much they know, and how they'll be using the app.
If you have the same social media platform, being "friends" on the app can be a requirement to use.
5) Be clear about parental supervision from the start.
I highly recommend checking kids' social media, particularly the algorithm and content they are consuming. You can set this as a requirement for use to ensure social media is being used appropriately.
In between the cute puppy videos, I have personally found that a lot of teen girls get content about "fitness" (AKA "SkinnyTok"), skin care, and style. Some of it is innocent, but some of it sets unrealistic beauty standards and contributes to body image issues.
Boys, on the other hand, get a lot of messages about what it means to be a man. Again, some of it is innocent, but some of it is aggressive, misogynistic, and perpetuates beliefs of superiority and dominance.
Teens are susceptible to falling into an algorithm that can be damaging to their development. Having parental oversight can help prevent this and give you an opportunity to discuss family and community values.
6) With parental supervision, also discuss any other guidelines for use.
This can include how much time is spent on apps, where phones are or are not allowed (e.g. bedroom, dinner table), access is dependent on grades, etc.
I recommend setting an expectation that your child is not allowed to post pictures or videos about their peers or their family. Sadly, something I hear about a lot is teens posting videos about each other. This can happen after a fight or break up where teens try to “tell their story.”
I’ve also seen teens make fake accounts to troll peers. This can include commenting on posts, spreading rumors, and attempting to ruin someone’s reputation. This can clearly be mean and hurtful, but can quickly snowball into cyberbullying.
7) Be sure to keep profiles "private."
AKA only friends can see their profile, pictures, videos, etc, and the general public does not have access to their account. Furthermore, different social media apps use location services. Be sure to turn location services off. Even if they are private, not everyone they are friends with needs to know their location at all times.
8) Overall, keeping lines of communication open.
Just having open discussions about what they think about social media, how it's used, what they're seeing, etc. Here's a good discussion guide: https://teenpregnancy.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/resource-files/social-media-teen-mental-health-discussion-gu.pdf
9) Encourage your kid to educate themselves on social media.
I find teens want to feel educated and knowledgeable on social media. Have them educate themselves and share what they’ve learned or what they think it appropriate or fair. Having them as part of the conversation will help earn their respect and lead to better outcomes.
Grades 9 - 12 Tip Card: https://www.cisa.gov/sites/default/files/publications/Student%20Tip%20Card%209-12.pdf
Online Safety: https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/netsmartz/downloadable/tipsheets/Social%20Media%20Safety%20for%20Teens.pdf
General Tips: https://www.stopthinkconnect.org/tips-advice/general-tips-and-advice
Check Your Screentime: https://www.wethinktwice.acf.hhs.gov/live-life-offline-check-your-screen-time
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Yours In Service,
Christina King, LMFT 145704