Is My Daughter an Empathetic Emily?
Your daughter is a freshman in high school. She is creative and expressive. Most evenings, you can find her up in her room sewing her own clothes from scraps of old blankets. She enjoys journaling, drawing, and songwriting.
She is joyful and bubbly, often attracting friends from all walks of life. It seems like her phone is always blowing up with some group chat. She is emotionally intelligent and introspective, making her a considerate friend. Here’s what she doesn’t want you to know.
While you see her shine in these creative outlets, you live in a sportscentric town. She gets good grades, but PE lowers her GPA. While you know it’s okay if she’s not sporty, she’s self conscious and hates this about herself - often wishing she was like the other kids at school.
Her ability to listen and empathize with her peers has made her the “therapist” friend. She loves that her friends can open up to her, but often absorbs others’ emotions. This leaves her feeling overwhelmed and anxious, but feels she’ll be a “bad friend” if she doesn’t listen.
She often feels misunderstood by family and friends. She is always up to help a friend, but feels like a burden if she asks for help. Since she spends her time listening to everyone else, she doesn’t know how to open up about her struggles - so she’ll withdraw and struggle with depression.
If this sounds like your daughter, here’s how you can help her. Listen to her. Let her ramble on about all the things her friends are doing - without judgement. Help her sort through her thoughts and be a container for them. Continue to encourage and celebrate her expressive outlets.
If it feels like she could use some more people on her team, therapy can help. A therapist can work with Emily on advocating for her needs and setting boundaries with friends. A therapist will help build her identity outside of her relationship with others’ and let her authentic self shine.
If you are looking for a therapist, please reach out to me at christina@christinakingfamilytherapy.com.
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Yours In Service,
Christina King, LMFT 145704